Desperate Housewives, or Happy Homebodies?

 

What makes Desperate Housewives such an appealing story for so many women? The premise for this superhit is that these women live lives of quiet desperation. Eva Longoria, Gabbie, yearns to be younger and sexier like she felt in her supermodel days. Marcia Cross, Brie Van De Camp, wants her marriage to be perfect-in suburban Utopia.

       Teri Hatcher, Susan, hopes for a future where she will know true love. The women are desperate because they either wish for the joys of their past or long for the hopes and dreams of the future. Where is the contentment? In life and in love, timing is EVERYTHING. In Ecclesiastes 3: 1, Solomon writes: “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: A time to be born, a time to die”.
In the stages of a relationship, there are beauties and blessings no matter what your stage of life. In marriage, God intended for every day of our lives to be sweeter.

One of our best early memories was bus breakfast. The one and only time in our marriage Roger made anything worth eating was on Saturday morning. He would boil 100 eggs, dump some butter and flour to make a gravy and pour the pasty mess over some refrigerated biscuits. Yum, yum….Roger had about twenty volunteers that would meet at church and canvas nearby neighborhoods for children who wanted to come to our church. As a children’s pastor, Roger would wear sheep costumes and donkey outfits to entertain the children-it was great fun.

Then came the kiddie years. We remember all the birthday parties. Bronwyn was born in November, so we’d buy the leftover Halloween costumes (the non-scary ones) and have a dress-up party complete with chubby bunnies and sack races.

All of the kiddie moments weren’t great memories. Some of their antics put a strain on our relationship. Like the time Brianna poured wheat paste over Bronwyn’s head-it took two hours of kicking and screaming in the shower to do damage control. In the middle years of our marriage, we’ve had some great fun while the kids are grown. We loved backpacking through Europe, hopping trains and climbing Alps.Now after many years of wedded bliss, we finish each other’s sentences, and order the same thing at restaurants. And someday, we’ll meet each other at the Eastern Gate in heaven.

       Every stage of life is beautiful in its time…as long as we cultivate it and set it on a solid foundation.Solomon writes at the end of this book these wonderful words…”Remember your Creator in the days of your youth…” When your marriage is based on a spiritual foundation, God makes every stage of your relationship beautiful in its time….there is peace, contentment, and joy.

Tyra Banks, Jennifer Hudson, and Ugly Betty-The new look of Beauty…

Can it really be happening? Can women be considered beautiful at size 12? Even supermodel Tyra Banks is tired of being anorexic. Two models died, and FINALLY, the fashion industry has a weight limit so that their runway gals don’t die of emaciation. Is there hope? Can we really eat carbs again? My husband and I are on a diet. I hate diets. First of all, because you eat this disgusting tasting food that your mother made you eat when she told you you had to finish it before dessert. Only this time you have to finish it and there is no tasty dessert afterwards. Rice cakes, for example. You might as well eat packing material. They put flavors on them like caramel and parmesan cheese, but its still packing material. Then there are those Kashi cereals. My pillow stuffing tastes better. And you can’t even cover them up with sugar or fruit.

Celery is completely worthless. My garden hose has more flavor. And forget the camouflage ingredients like pimento cheese and peanut butter. Those aren’t on the list. Then there are those somewhat tastier foods that still leave you hungry.

Like Chinese food. Kung Pao Chicken, Beef with Broccoli, Black Beans and Tofu. You’re hungry thirty minutes after you finish your plate. Even the fortune cookie doesn’t make the feeling last. And finally, contraband that really does taste good. Cotton candy-you know-the kind you get at the Pima County Fair. Fluffy, pink and delicious. Have you ever seen the guy who whips it up in a frenzy? Before he blows it around, its just a spoonful of sugar. Sometimes I wish the Lord had given us a nuclear power system that would keep us going. Then we wouldn’t have to deal with the whole hunger thing. And Ronald McDonald would go out of business. Food doesn’t last. We went on a mission trip to the Middle East and when we returned all our bananas were black. Don’t expect them to taste yellow and fresh.

We can lose the fresh taste of life. Solomon did. He tasted of life and nothing satisfied. That is why he wrote Ecclesiastes. He said life at the start had great taste. He talks about trying money, women, and philosophy. But nothing satisfied. He called it “meaningless” or “mist” that fades away. Then he penned these words at the end of his book. “Remember your Creator in the days of your youth…here is the conclusion of the matter-Fear God and keep His commandments.” Ecclesiastes 12:1 and 13. trying the stuff of this world is mist. It may appear to have great taste…But it is less filling.

I’m going to seek God first. As for the diet, I finally decided to buy me a muzzle.

Clumsy or Savvy?

Polar Bears are adorable because they are so clumsy-they lumber around the Arctic slipping and sliding on the ice, and falling headfirst into the snow. For a polar bear, clumsy is cute. My husband, bless his heart, is a little bit clumsy. He can walk down the hall of our house and pictures will “jump off the wall!” I don’t give him dishes in the kitchen made of glass. They somehow seem to fall out of his hands onto the floor. People who are clumsy in relationships are not so cute. Do you know how to read the needs of others, or do you just roll over their emotions like a bulldozer? When we have processed our own pain and our hurts are mourned and comforted, it gives us the ability to see the needs of those around us. We become need-meeters, not need-depleters. The non-verbal cues you receive from your friends may cause tension in a variety of ways. If you operate in a dysfunctional manner, with hidden agendas and unrevealed expectations, you might as well check into Alcoholics Anonymous together. Instead, start the friendship by laying all the cards on the table. If you don’t have enough emotional energy to pursue the relationship at the level of your friend, tell them. Where boundaries need to be set, lay them out. I don’t know about you, but watching a movie with subtitles can be exhausting. So can a friendship where nobody lays the cards on the table.

Proverbs 25:20-“Like one who takes away a garment on a cold day, or like vinegar poured on soda, is one who sings songs to a heavy heart.” Mirroring is a technique utilized by counselors when a patient is hysterically spinning out of control.

One of our pastor friends was a missionary to Alaska. He worked with Eskimos, and Jim was a real boozer. Jim stumbled into the churchhouse one Sunday so liquored up and enraged, he knocked over tables and chairs like they were toothpicks.

This savvy pastor began to gesticulate like Bigfoot with the same large, overbearing body language as his boorish parishioner. Every time Jim would speak, Joe would gradually make his body language more quiet and controlled. By reflecting back nonverbal cues, the pastor brought the wino under control.

If your friend is hurting or depressed your response can either comfort her or drive her away. When a buddy mourns, do you tell her the nine spiritual reasons why she shouldn’t feel that way? Do you try to cheer her up by telling her all the good things that are going on in your life? Or do you mourn with her and comfort her in her pain?

King Solomon in Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 writes: “There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven. A time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them. A time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to search and a time to give up. A time to keep and a time to throw away. A time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.”

There are teachable moments and tearful moments. Raise your “people antenna” and begin to sense the needs others around you!

Oprah puts her money where her mouth is…

Well, Santa looked cheap this year. Sure, he hit Walmart and finished his naughty and nice list. But Santa gave the goods to the little pipsqueaks who had been nagging him for weeks. Another Wii, another radio-control model airplane…all for kiddies who often would be bored of their new stash about two hours after the wrapping paper was picked up. But Oprah saw some little South African girls who asked for nothing. One hundred and fifty-two impoverished preteens who had suffered illness, rape and heartache received a chance for an education and a better life. Now that’s what I call class! Of course, it’s not Oprah’s first philanthropic gesture. She built a six-million dollar Boys and Girls club in Mississippi, twelve million dollars in scholarships, eighty homes for Katrina victims, and 1.25 million for Afghan orphans. And of course there were the free cars for the unsuspecting audience members on her show…..Two thousand years ago, a man gave a gift to a heartbroken, lonely woman standing beside a well in the middle of the day. Jesus engaged her in conversation. No one ever approached her. She was poor, rejected and despised. She was a Samaritan half-breed, just about as esteemed as the little South African girls Oprah befriended. Jesus asked her for a drink of water. His request blew her away. Jews don’t talk to Samaritans…especially women of ill-repute.

“How can you ask me for a drink?” Jesus answered her, ” If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and He would have given you living water. Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”: John 4:7-14. You see, everyone needs hope for a better life. Oprah may not be around to provide it for you, but Jesus promised to never leave or forsake you. He scratches the itch to live a satisfied, fulfilled life here and now, and a home in heaven forever. But make no mistake, this gift to us was costly. He suffered an agonizing death on a cross, and He did it for you and me. The water of life He promises will fill us with joy and peace. We don’t earn it-He lavishly gives it to us for free!

Jennifer Aniston-Why the Jennfest?

Poor Jennifer Aniston. I don’t care if you like her acting. How would you like to have your relationships, your failures, your disapppointments, splashed on every Us, People, and In Touch gossip magazine for all the world to see? And how much of the gossip is true? Does she have to see one more picture of Brad and Angelina? According to her, the printed words are so painful, they destroy her life. Give the girl her privacy!

James, the brother of Jesus expounded on this truth in his letter:

“The tongue is also a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is ITSELF set on fire by hell.” We can relate to the power of the tongue by standing in the defendant’s shoes in a courtroom. The jury hands a piece of paper to the judge. One or two words can steer the course of your future. Guilty or not guilty. That’s the difference between freedom and the death penalty. Our words can lift and encourage someone to go on or assassinate someone’s character and drive them to despair. Even a simpleton knows that words are powerful.

Jorge Rodriguez was the meanest bandit on the Arizona-Mexico border. He often slipped across the border to raid the banks of southern Arizona. He’d steal them blind. Finally, the Arizona marshals decided to put the toughest border patrol officer they had on the case. After only a few days of searching, the Ranger found the bandito in a dingy, dusty bar in Sonora. The officer bolted into the bar, pulled both guns, and yelled, “Okay, stick ‘em up, Jorge; you’re under arrest. I know you’ve got the stolen cash.” Suddenly a little guy over in the corner butted in. “Wait, wait…just a moment senor,” he said. Jorge does not speak English. He’s my amigo, so I’ll translate for you.” The Ranger explained, ‘Look, we know he’s the robber we’ve been looking for. We know he’s stolen over $50,000 U.S. dollars. We want it back PRONTO. Either he pays up or I’ll fill him full of holes. You tell him that! “Okay, Okay! I’ll tell him.” So the translator turned to Jorge and repeated in Spanish everything the Ranger had said. Jorge listened, frowned, then responded in Spanish. ‘Okay, I give up. Tell him to go down to the well just south of town, count four stones down from the top of the well, then pull out the one loose stone. All the money I have stolen I’ve hidden behind the stone.” The translator turned to the Border Patrol agent and said. “Jorge says, Go ahead and shoot me, you stupid Gringo. I’ll never tell you where the money is!!!” Ambassadors are mediators whose wise words can save lives and bring peace among warring nations. Good news brings hope and health to the listener. When is the last time you watched the NBC Nightly News and felt better about yourself and the world you live in? We could really use some good news!

Words of encouragement can profoundly impact someone’s character and self-esteem. It may take a lifetime of damage control to recover from Dad’s cruel jab—“Son, you’ll never amount to anything!” In a country church in Italy, a small altar boy dropped the communion wine. The village priest slapped him and said, “You clumsy idiot. Get out of here and never come back!” Another priest in the south of Italy had a clutzy altar boy. When the wine fell from the cruet, the priest smiled at the boy and said “one day you’ll be a fine priest…now fill the cruet again.”

The first altar boy grew up to be the godless Italian dictator Marshall Tito. The second chubby cherub grew up to be Archbishop Fulton Sheen. Words can propel or destroy.

Let’s give Jennifer a break. Say something nice, or don’t say anything at all.

Rosie, Donald, Mel and Lindsay…Is it hoof and mouth disease?

Rosie O’Donnell goes head to head with Donald Trump over her smart-mouthed comment about his judgment concerning a hard-partying Miss U.S.A. Mel Gibson creates a stunning movie masterpiece called “The Passion of the Christ” and then insults his audience with an anti-Semitic drunken tirade. Wispy little starlets like Lindsey Lohan have their insulting little gossip wars spattered over the latest trashy magazine. Didn’t that sound like the catfights you overheard in the high school girl’s bathroom?

Have you ever played “telephone’? You know, it’s that cute little game where you whisper down the line and see how closely the last person can quote the first one. The telephone game is especially difficult if one of the players has braces or earwax. This little exercise is much more true-to-life than we would like to admit. Gossip is a favorite feminine pastime. It is a shame we are so predisposed to scandal. Solomon writes in the book of Proverbs that angry words or slanderous words spell disaster to human relationships. The crafty monarch teaches us many powerful lessons about the tongue. Proverbs 10:18-“He who conceals his hatred has lying lips, and whoever spreads slander is a fool. When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.” The tongue can reveal much about our physical health—if it is coated, we may have an intestinal virus—if it is red, we may have an infection.

Solomon, James and Jesus all taught us about the symbiotic relationship between our tongues and our hearts. In Matthew 12:34-35 Jesus talked about the tongue-the litmus paper that reveals our soul. “Out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks. The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him.” The best way to be sure we don’t stomp the hearts of people around us is to have a loving attitude—to see the good in people and to give them the benefit of the doubt instead of the benefit of the slop!

Dreamgirls

Every girl wants to be a dreamgirl. One day you’re singing in the shower, and the next day, you are singing on the stage! Not to mention the wigs, the glittery outfits, and the cheering throng. Jennifer Hudson is living that dream. She started as a shy, chubby songbird on American Idol and graduated to a big-league diva in a matter of months. Very few dreamgirls are born with the silver spoon in their mouths. Kate Hudson, maybe-the sticklike ditzy blonde born to sixties “It Girl” Goldie Hawn. Drew Barrymore-offspring of the famous Lionel Barrymore and Ethel Barrymore-got a boost from the Golden Age of Hollywood glitterati. But how about you and me? Maybe your parents were schoolteachers or plumbers in Podunk, Louisiana. How can we live the dream? Well, we have the opportunity to be rich heiresses. We don’t have to own a hotel chain like Paris and Nicky Hilton. The Bible tells us we are heirs to the riches of heaven and the blessings on earth. Jesus came to redeem the world. He bought it back with His blood when He died on the cross. John the disciple wrote these words: “The true light (Jesus) that lights up every man was coming into the world. He was in the world, and though the world was made through him, the world did not recognize Him. He came to His own people, and they didn’t receive Him. Yet to all who received Jesus, the ones who believed in His name (that He was God’s son and came to give eternal life to the world by the ransom that He paid on the cross), He gave the right to become children of God-not children of natural descent, nor of human decision, but born of God. John 1:8-12, (Julie’s paraphrase). Every movie star would like to escape the aging process-no plastic surgery, nothing drooping or falling apart. God says when we invite Jesus into our lives, we have life forever. We cheat death. Cool, huh? WE have all of His riches. We even get crowns for all sorts of great stuff.

I even read in John 14 that there are mansions in heaven and we each get one. The ones in California are subject to smogs and earthquakes. These are better. Now why would God want us to be Dreamgirls? Just one reason-He loves us. He loved us before we were even born, and He wants to bless every aspect of our lives. Now that’s what I call a dream come true!

Otis Lee

Bronwyn Lea, our youngest daughter, had three treasured possessions in her young life: the first was the “animal blankie”-a multi-colored mini-quilt pock-marked with farm animals and handed down from her older sister, Brianna. One tear-filled afternoon, we jumped in the car, peeled out and frantically drove to El Paso’s Motel 6 to retrieve it.The second treasured possession was a blue taffeta dress with a built-in jingle bell petticoat. It never left her sweaty body between the ages of three and four without a fist fight. The third, and by far the greatest, was a bald Cabbage Patch doll named Otis Lee. Otis appeared as the trophy toy from her three-year-old Christmas bounty. None of the other gifts mattered. It was Otis that stole her heart. Otis had a hard life. Besides the smelly task of living under Bronwyn’s armpit day and night, Otis had many brushes with death. Once Becky, our faithful Border Collie, fancied Otis as a chew-toy. Besides dragging the plastic heartthrob through dog-poop, several teeth-marks had actually penetrated Otis’ skull. After major surgery and some duct tape, Otis survived. We’re not sure whether he had brain damage. The worst catastrophe of Otis’ and Bronwyn’s lives came when older sister, Brianna Lynn had finally taken all of the pestering she could stand from her little sister. Being the bright, yet sneaky seven-year-old that she was, she watched the weather channel to find a rainy night in July. After dark, Brie slipped Otis under a very deeply planted rosebush and waited for the mud to bury Otis alive. Brie’s act was ruthless, pre-meditated dolly murder.Much to Brianna’s chagrin, Otis was found. Bronwyn was in hysterics. In desperation, I threw Otis in the washer on perma-press. Although the rubber body parts were slightly deformed, Bronwyn didn’t mind. Otis slept in her bed for years. One day she was forced to give up Otis for another. Otis was exchanged for Richard , the man who captured her heart. Bronwyn loved Otis, but as long as she held onto him, she could never receive the precious treasure she received in her loving husband. Besides that, Richard is washable. We hold onto many things in this life-journey. Most of them are made of plastic. However, if by faith we choose to invite Jesus Christ into our lives and receive His gift of eternal life, we are forever transformed. All the playthings of this earth seem to fade when He captures our hearts. This little devotional guide is for the hungry heart who longs for a lover that will last. We do not carry Him under our arm, as Bronwyn toted Otis. We carry Him in our hearts. And when He draws us with His love, we will never be the same.